Toddlers experience big feelings every day. Joy, frustration, curiosity, fear, and excitement are just a few. These emotions are developmentally normal, but the way children learn to manage them is deeply shaped by the parenting environment around them. Research shows that parenting style plays a role in toddlers' emotion regulation, behavior, and long-term well-being. Understanding these patterns helps caregivers respond with confidence rather than confusion.
Emotion regulation refers to a child's ability to manage their feelings, calm themselves, and cope with challenges. Toddlers are just beginning to develop these skills, and they rely heavily on caregivers for guidance. Toddler's emotional development is shaped by both their temperament and the parenting style they experience, meaning that adult responses can either support or hinder their growth¹. Some toddlers are naturally more reactive or sensitive, while others are more easygoing. Regardless of temperament, consistent and supportive parenting helps children learn to navigate their emotions more effectively.
Parenting styles are commonly grouped into four categories: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. Each creates a distinct emotional climate, and these climates strongly influence children's coping skills and behavior¹. Authoritative parents are responsive but also set consistent expectations. Studies show this style is linked to stronger emotional regulation and fewer behavior problems because children feel both secure and guided³. Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict rules and obedience, often with less emotional warmth. While this approach may reduce misbehavior in the moment, it is associated with higher anxiety, lower emotional awareness, and more difficulty regulating feelings over time³. Permissive parenting is warm and accepting but lacks structure and limits. Children raised in this environment may struggle with frustration tolerance and self-control because they have fewer opportunities to practice boundaries.
Temperament also matters. Toddlers with more reactive temperaments are especially sensitive to parenting styles¹. When these children experience warm, structured parenting, they show stronger emotional skills¹. When parenting is harsh or inconsistent, their emotional challenges tend to intensify¹. This highlights the importance of caregivers adapting their approach to meet their child's individual needs.
Emotion regulation develops gradually through repeated, everyday interactions, not through a single lesson. When parents respond calmly to tantrums, label emotions, and offer comfort, toddlers learn that feelings are manageable. When emotions are met with punishment or dismissal, children may learn to suppress or fear their feelings. This aligns with broader research showing that routines, communication, and responsive caregiving support children's wellbeing².
Parents do not need to be perfect to support healthy emotional development. Small, consistent strategies make a meaningful difference. Helpful practices can include:
1. Naming the emotions your toddler is experiencing.
2. Staying calm during big feelings. Your regulation teaches theirs.
3. Setting predictable boundaries, since toddlers feel safer when they know what to expect.
4. Offering simple choices to build autonomy and reduce power struggles.
5. Modeling coping skills such as deep breaths, taking breaks, or asking for help.
6. Creating consistent routines, especially around sleep and meals.
7. Limiting overstimulation, including screen time close to bedtime.
These practices align closely with authoritative parenting, which identifies as the most supportive style for emotional development.
Toddlers are learning how to understand themselves and the world, parents play a central role in shaping that journey. By creating a warm, predictable environment and responding thoughtfully to big feelings, caregivers help children build the emotional foundation they need for future relationships, learning, and wellbeing.
References:
- Kiff, C. J., & Lengua, L. J. (2019). Parenting Styles and Child Emotion Regulation: The Role of Temperament in Toddlers. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 62, 38–48. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0193397318301321?via%3Dihub
- Kitsaras, G., Goodwin, M., Allan, J. et al., Bedtime Routines Child Wellbeing & Development. BMC Public Health 18, 386 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-5290-3
- Sarwar, Samiullah, Influence of Parenting Style on Children's Behaviour (December 1, 2016). Journal of Education and Educational Development, Vol. 3 No. 2 (December 2016), Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=2882540
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